Seyumei

⭐SEYUMEI.COM⭐

I shoulda done this a long time ago, but I decided to take the plunge and finally make a semi-professional portfolio website for myself! During the advent of social media becoming increasingly shittier, it began to dawn on me of the importance of having your own space in case everything goes to heck in the future. I also just wanted a place where people can view my best work and get in contact with me easier.

I basically took my old Carrd site and upgraded/revamped it without the element limitations, with its own domain name and everything. I tried to design it so that everything is easy to find and read (hopefully xD). Since I dont take commissions that much anymore, I took it off the main tabs. There IS still a commission info page (its located in a small link within the "contact" tab) but it'll only be relevant when I have rare, random bouts of opening commissions. :'D

Its still not quite done yet (still want to add more pictures and setting up a shop) but it has pretty much everything important on it for now. As for the old Carrd site I had before, it still exists, but it'll have a redirect on the front page to the new site instead.

Im not the best at website design though, so if you have any pointers of how I could make it better, do let me know! :)

Because I think I might have to replace my drawing tablet pretty soon. Its an old Wacom Cintiq 13in HD and has been my trusty sidekick for about... I wanna say almost decade or so now? It still works fine, but the wear its been accumulating over the years has been hard to ignore. I can see and feel the scratches on the surface of the tablet when I draw and it just doesn't feel good to work on anymore. Since its been starting to affect the way I work now, I think its best to just invest in a new one.

Since I'm sorta out of the loop of what the cool kidz use to draw these days, I thought I'd ask for some recommendations. Ideally, I just want something that kinda feels similar to my old one since its what I've been used to for so many years, just not as dinky haha. But since I know Wacom doesn't manufacture the 13HD model anymore, I don't know where to start. xD But heres a few other things that I'm looking for too!

- I'm not a huge fan of large display screens (like 24-27") for drawing. I remember using them in school and my arm would always get tired fast. The 13" one worked just fine for me, but I'm willing to go up to 16" and maybe 22". Though I'd prefer not to go smaller than 13".

- Some of the things I couldn't stand about my 13HD was the wacky cord setup and the flimsy stand (if you worked on one of these, you'll probably know what I mean xD) Once it got set up, it was fine, but it was definitely not on-the-go friendly. If I can avoid that nonsense and have something a bit more mobile, that would be great lol.

- I'm willing to spend more for a quality tablet since I'm gonna be working on it for a long time, so I don't have a set budget/price range. If you know a good quality one at a more affordable price range, thats great! But I also don't want to cheap out if it'll cause me issues down the line. So I'd prefer to get something completely new and not old/used/refurbished.

- Brand names don't matter to me as long as its reliable, solid tablet. I know Wacom is probably the most well known, but I'm willing to try other ones if you've had good experiences with them!

- No Ipads/Microsoft Surfaces. I just can't get used to drawing on them and I felt the work area to be a bit too small/cramped imo. I could consider one for casual on-the-go doodling one day, but ideally not for work-work, haha.

But yeah, feel free to share about your experiences with your drawing tablet or if you've heard good experiences with other models! Anything helps, thanks! :)

Just because I've been a bit quiet lately and not posting as often as I used to, I thought I'd give an explanation about what's been going on with me during this whole year.

Well... I can honestly say that this year has been the absolute worst year of my entire life (currently, at least). After dealing with a bunch of BS during the end of last year, my life has basically just been nonstop drama. Dealing with emotional abuse, a broken family, sabotage, betrayal from people I thought I could trust. That's about all I can get into without mentioning all the gritty details. I never wanted to get involved in any of this and couldn't understand why this was all happening to me. So it basically spiraled me into a depression.

While dealing with all this, I've noticed my work and passion for drawing was slipping fast. What used to take me a few days to finish a drawing would now stretch out to 1-2 weeks. My love for making comics dwindled and it was hard for me to get myself to create anything more elaborate like I used to. I've sometimes found myself just starting at a blank canvas, or just watching YT videos for hours instead of being productive. I also found myself playing videogames WAYYYYY more often than I should. I guess I just wanted something to distract myself from all the BS. I think in the back of my head, I was just like, "what's the point?".

I finally had enough and decided to just get away from everyone. I moved away discreetly, and now I finally have a place of my own, where I'm hoping I can emotionally heal and rebuild what I lost. I feel much, much happier here, but... now I'm kinda broke lmao xD I have to rebuy a lot of necessities and I also have many more expenses to pay for, so I'm actually thinking about trying to do some commissions again to help subsidize the cost. Truth be told, after not taking commissions for a whole year or two, I started feeling a bit nostalgic for them haha. My only worry is that because I haven't done them in so long, I don't know if they can sell at the prices I used to set them at. But I'll try to do some test runs and see what happens. :')

During this ordeal, I learned a lot about the importance of trusting and relying on yourself, and that its okay to let go of family and people you used to love, especially if they're toxic. My hope is that my mental state will start improving after this, and that I can go back to being more social online and making art and animations as frequently as I used to. There's so much I wanted to do, but all this crap held me back from it for so long. But now that I'm finally free from it, I'm wishing for the best. :>

Wrote this in response to seeing a lot of artists hopping around to different sites for various reasons recently and wanted to share my thoughts on it. I think we've all seen this song and dance before. Artists think the current site they're using is "dying" or losing their way, sees all their friends move over to this new up-and-coming site that they're hoping will become the "next big thing". They usually advertise it as a community "for artists, by artists" or "like this social media site, but BETTER!". You think, "Oh man, its gonna be like Deviantart in the 2000s again! I can make friends with artists so much easier and we can do fun artistic activities together like the good ol' days when we didnt have to deal with algorithms, AI crap and that bs!" And then... people slowly stop using the site. Why?

So why don't these sites ever pop off? Its pretty easy to figure out why if you can understand why people are signing up there in the first place, and you're probably not gonna like what I'm gonna say. Its because, at its core, the only people flocking to these sites are artists who want attention on their work. Some might deny this and just say they simply want to be in a community with similar interests, but deep down, its really because they crave engagement on their work. Sure a few artists might try to interact with the community there, but I'd say the vast majority have a habit of "posting, then leaving", expecting comments/likes to flood in naturally. And I'm not saying that wanting attention on your work is a bad thing either. Artists need to be seen to get work and make a living, I completely understand. And yes, popularity DOES factor into how successful your art business can be (don't deny it). But here comes the problem: Shift focus to the "non-artist", the casual user. What incentive would a non-artist have to join an art-centric site? Just to appreciate and look at art? Maybe buy commissions/merch? But what would be the point of going to a whole new site/app if you can literally just do that on Twitter (or I guess "X" now lol), Instagram or some other social media site where millions of artists already post their stuff. Not only that, but these sites also provide the casual user with posts that pertain to their other hobbies and interests, not just art. Because of how well rounded social media is, artists eventually found a stronger foothold by using social media instead of art sites. They had access to a wider audience that could help spread around their work, and they could get even more work that way. The downside of all this is that while the top 1% of artists succeeded on these platforms, many others struggled to get their work out there due to algorithms suppressing their posts. Problem is, a site cant just get rid of algorithms either, because they're necessary to keep casual users addicted and coming back to their site. And I think that's why so many artists crave an art-centric site. They miss the simplicity of browsing art linearly and being able to keep up with what they're favorite artists are doing easier. However, it still comes down to the core of wanting their art to be seen. So, when you have a new website full of Content Creators (yes, that's artists too) all competing for relatively the same thing, but none to consume it casually, thats how a site dies. This is why whenever I get word of a new art site that seems to be popping off, I dont really keep my hopes up. I just expect people to stop using it in a few months when the momentum dies, and after seeing so many art site alternatives come and go, that usually ends up being the case. People also tend to have higher expectations for a new site, especially coming from a place they had disdain from, so if the new site devs introduce a change to the site down the line that people dont like, they can easily abandon it. It hasn't been around long enough for people to become loyal to it. So if this is the case, why do old school, art centric sites like Deviantart, Furaffinity, Pixiv, and Newgrounds still seem to be going okay? Its because they've literally been around since the beginning of the internet (or at least when people started using it more prolifically) so they've had time to grow a userbase large and loyal enough to stay around, and they have made visiting the site part of their daily routine already. Unless these sites go bankrupt and are out of money to keep the site running, they're probably gonna stick around for a while no matter how many times they might screw up. Despite everything, I still prefer posting to and browsing these smaller "legacy" sites over social media. It feels much more personal, easier to keep up with people I follow, and just a few nice words on my work is enough for me. I don't need a million strangers' eyes on it. As much as I would love to experience a site like DA in its heyday again, I really think that its a bygone era and we just gotta appreciate what we still have.

Alright, so whats the takeaway of all this? Should we just give up on the idea of a new art site ever popping off and just surrender to social media algorithms and AI junk? Er... yes and no. I say "yes" because I feel like AI technology and the age of social media algorithms is here to stay and has already changed the landscape of how art is consumed online. That's just the unfortunate truth. Unless these social media sites completely screw up how they currently function, artists aren't going to bother leaving. They might just "try out" a new site for a few days, but they'll most likely go back to what they've normally been doing. That's just how it is sadly. However, I also say "no" because you don't have to let AI and algorithms control your life. I feel like social media has completely screwed up how people view themselves and their work online. They've become too reliant on people's approval and engagement numbers. When you do this, you will NEVER be happy with your art and yourself. Bars for yourself will always be set higher and nothing will ever be "good enough" for you. Therefore, I really recommend detoxing yourself from social media and training yourself not to care about numbers. If you want genuine, meaningful engagement on your work, you can simply just share it with friends/peers, or your niche circle. I know this is easier said than done, but I've done this myself and its improved my mental health considerably. Never going back to being an art vending machine and simping for the algorithm lol. One thing that tends to help is to pick up other hobbies and not let being an internet artist consume your life. And then you might say, "Wait, didn't you just say that you needed your art to be seen to get work? Then shouldn't I care if my work gets enough engagement? You hypocrite!". Yes, but you don't need to make sure your art always gets 20,000 likes every time to get work. Internet fame and popularity is a very fleeting and temporary thing. Most people who take art seriously and want to hire you seriously are only concerned about your skills and work ethic, not arbitrary numbers. I know plenty of people who work professionally in art (and live comfortably) who barely post to social media and some who don't even have them at all. You also dont need to make a career out of art either, it can always be kept a hobby or side hustle. So if the social media game isn't working out for you (and it wont work out for everyone, thats just a fact of life) just explore other options that will make you feel fulfilled. Try to remember why you did art in the first place and don't let this stuff kill your passion for creating. -------------------------------------- Anyways I dont really know what made me want to write this, just thoughts I wanted to get out :'D A lot of this is based on personal experience and may differ for everyone, so feel free to agree, disagree or roast the hell outta me lol.

Is it too late to be posting one of these new year resolution things? But anyhow, thought I'd just share a bit more about what I've been going through in my head, and my visions for the future. :)

Goals I did accomplish last year:

Did more original content than commission work

Half a year ago, I made the decision to "semi-retire" from taking commissions when I became more financially stable. I didn't do this because I disliked doing commissions, but I didn't want the majority of my gallery to just be a reflection of other's people's visions, which was what it was becoming. Instead, I wanted to build off an audience from a gallery that reflected my identity as an artist. So now I only really take certain commission projects if the idea was something I'd be personally invested in. I kinda did a lookover of what I did in 2022, and I noticed that a little over half of what I made was original stuff, which is great! Specifically, I've been really enjoying sharing comics of my OCs and I have plenty more shenanigans planned for the future.

... yeah thats about all I accomplished last year. I'm not really good at these things. xD

This year I only really have three goals:

Going ham into animation

With the advent of AI art BS and more modern platforms becoming video oriented, I've been trying to find ways to adapt my art into the ever changing landscape. So lately I've been trying to work more on my animation skills and illustration has sorta become second priority to me. I still do use my illustration skills to paint backgrounds, get the lighting right in scenes and whatnot, but its longer going to be my main focus. That's not to say I'm gonna just be doing ALL animation from now on (I'd go crazy xD), but its something I want to focus on improving more than my drawing skills, which I feel has sorta reached a "peak" now haha.

I've been happy with my progress in animation so far since they've been doing very well on social media, but I feel like its not enough. Everytime I see animators doing like elaborate fight scenes and stuff, it really gets me inspired haha, but then when I look at my own stuff in comparison, well, it doesn't look bad, but it just looks so... simple? xD Although, I still want to keep my animated YCHs that way just so that they don't consume months of my life lol, but I do want to branch out and do more than just move them slightly, especially since I feel like animating has gotten a bit easier for me to do. I've been shooting more video references and I feel more confident to do more elaborate stuff. Another thing is that I want to do more animations with my original ideas. I sorta did that more this year (with the little goat Sky animations here and there xD) but the majority of my animations are still for others and I kinda want to flip that around.

I also want to try dabbling with Live2D (the program they use to make Vtubers lol). It just seems like another interesting animation program to learn. It probably won't replace the way I animate (still prefer frame by frame) and tbh, I wouldn't really know what else to make with it other than bobbing, talking heads xD But it doesn't seem very complicated program to learn, and its just something I wanted to add to my skillset :>

Start on an animated trailer for my series

This one sort of relates to the goal above, but when I mentioned making more original animations, this is more specifically what I wanted to do. As I've gotten older, I began to have the realization that... wow... I'm gonna die soon (yeah I know im probably overreacting since I'm still in my 20s lol). But I just really want to finish and get something out there before I feel like I run out of steam. Like leaving a legacy I guess. xD I know I still have Bromodachis, but thats more of just a casual fun comic I make sometimes, and I don't really have an end goal for it. But I really want to get The Incubus Prince off the ground since I already have the groundwork for it done, I just need to find the right medium. There is no way in heck I can make the story a comic or a full fledged animation (especially when I'm only doing this on my free time) so I figured that a 1-2 minute animated trailer that hits all the key points in the story would be good enough. This might take a few years to finish, but its something I'm currently really passionate about, so hopefully its feasible. Once the trailer is finished, I'm hoping it could lead to other opportunities down the line, or even if it doesn't, I'd just be happy to see it completed. xD

I often get people asking about the story with Plyso and the other characters surrounding him, and honestly, I really still want to do something with that story in the future. But the problem with it is that right now it has a very convoluted storyline and still needs a lot to be fixed before it can be a thing. The stories with Sky and Keith are just easier and simpler to work with, and I can actually see an end goal with them. I also just feel more passionate with them currently. But as for the other story, it just isn't a good time to invest a lot of resources into it right now. When a good time comes to resurrect it, I'll know, trust me. :')

Defeating this monster known as "Social Anxiety"

This is a thing that's been eating away at me since childhood and is most likely the main source of everything wrong in my life. And I've gotten to the point where I'm just so tired of this thing holding me back from everything and I finally want it gone for good.

Over the years, my severe social anxiety has caused me to lose friendships, potential relationships, career opportunities, and preventing me to move on with my life in general. It's basically the voice in your head that keeps saying "You're not good enough", "they'll hate you" or "you'll regret this". It has isolated me from everyone and in turn, has made more more lonely than I've ever been. At the same time, I've always blamed myself for my loneliness. I'm horrible at keeping up with old friends and people I used to talk to, because my stupid social anxiety keeps doubting my relationships with people. I keep thinking they'll hate me if I say something off or I'll be annoying if I talk too much, or that its too "awkward" to reach out to an old friend I haven't spoken to in years. So I completely understand why they just ghost or dont want to do anything with me anymore, even if I try to rekindle our relationship years later. At this point, I don't even know who is even a friend to me anymore or if I even have any friends left.

So I want to try to get out more and make more connections/friends. Maybe try volunteering and taking on a small non-art related jobs just so I can meet more people irl. Even online, I want to start doing more stuff with people. Maybe start streaming? I haven't played an MMO in years and was thinking of trying out FFXIV. I had an idea of a Viera character based off of this abomination of mine lol. Or maybe some character based off Sky or Keith, I don't know. xD

But I know the social anxiety isn't going to go away that quickly. In fact, its still holding me back right now. So it might take a while till I really fight off this thing for good. Just... be patient with me. :'D

Yeah, thats about all I wanted to get off my chest haha. :')